When Faith Wavers | Trusting God in the Unknown

Verse of the Day
“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
Mark 9:24

I didn’t send a Wednesday Word last week.

A few of you noticed and reached out, and honestly, that meant more to me than you probably realize. It reminded me that these words God puts on my heart each week are reaching people, even when I don't always get to see it.

But if I'm being honest, I've been in a season lately where I don't have everything figured out. There are changes happening, questions I'm still asking, prayers I'm still praying, and things I wish God would give me a little more clarity on.

So, that's exactly where this week's Wednesday Word is coming from...

Not from the other side of the lesson. Not after everything has worked out and I can look back and tell you exactly what God was doing. Right here, in the middle of not knowing.

You see, there are seasons when trusting God feels easier because we can see where we're going. Things are moving, prayers are being answered, and we can almost connect the dots between where we've been and where God is taking us.

And then there are seasons when we can't, and those seasons can be so hard.

Plans change. Doors we thought would stay open begin to look different. Something we once felt certain about suddenly doesn't feel so certain anymore. We pray for direction and don't immediately receive it. We ask God to show us what comes next, and sometimes it feels like He's only giving us enough light for today.

I'm learning that faith looks a little different when you don't know what happens next.

Maybe that's why Mark 9:24 feels so incredibly human to me.

In Mark 9, a father brings his son to Jesus, desperate for help. His son has suffered for years, and after the disciples are unable to help him, the father comes to Jesus. Jesus tells him that everything is possible for one who believes, and the father's response isn't some polished declaration of unwavering faith.

He says: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Basically, Jesus, I believe You. And I'm struggling to believe You at the same time.

Have you ever been there? Because I have!

I can know that God is faithful and still wonder what He's doing. I can trust Him and still have questions. I can surrender something to Him in prayer and then pick it right back up an hour later because I've started trying to figure it out myself.

I can say, “God, Your will be done,” and then immediately start suggesting a few options for how I think His will should probably go. Sorry about that, God... but you already know I am one stubborn child. 😂

We are human.

And I think sometimes we convince ourselves that strong faith means never wavering. That if we really trusted God, we wouldn't be afraid. We wouldn't question. We wouldn't worry about what's coming next. We'd pray about something once, hand it over to God, and walk away completely at peace.

But I don't think faith is pretending those feelings don't exist.
Maybe faith is simply knowing where to go when we do.

The father in Mark 9 brought Jesus both. His belief and his unbelief.

He didn't wait until his faith was stronger to approach Jesus. He didn't hide the part of himself that was struggling. He brought his desperation, his hope, his doubt, and whatever faith he had left directly to the One who could actually do something with it.

And Jesus met him there.

I think that's especially important to remember in seasons of uncertainty because the unknown has a way of exposing just how badly we want control.

We want the plan.
We want confirmation that we're making the right decision.
We want to know what the next six months will look like.
We want God to explain why something is changing, where He's taking us, and preferably how everything is going to work out before we agree to trust Him with it.

At least I do. But that's not really trust, is it?

If I already knew exactly how everything was going to work out, I wouldn't need much faith to walk through it.

So in this season of change and uncertainty, God is revealing the areas where I need to trust Him more instead of trying to control the outcome on my own. I'm learning that sometimes God gives us explicit clarity. Sometimes He opens the door so obviously that we couldn't miss it if we tried. And other times, He simply asks us to keep walking with Him without knowing exactly where the road leads. Those seasons are hard.

But here's the kicker...they're also where we learn what we've actually been putting our trust in. 

Was my peace coming from God, or from having MY plan?
Was I trusting Him, or was I trusting the outcome I thought He was going to give me?
Was I surrendered to His will, or only to His will as long as it looked like mine?

Those are uncomfortable questions. I know because I'm asking them too.

There are things in my own life right now that I don't have perfectly figured out. Some days I feel incredibly confident that God is leading, and other days I find myself asking Him all over again, Are You sure? What are You doing? Where is this going? Can you just send me a sign that this is the right direction? 

Maybe you're there too.

Maybe something in your life is changing that you didn't expect. Maybe you're waiting on an answer. Maybe a door is closing. Maybe you're wondering whether it's time to walk away from something or hold on a little longer. Maybe you're standing somewhere between what was and whatever comes next. And maybe you've been thinking that if your faith were stronger, you wouldn't feel so uncertain.

I want to remind you of something I'm reminding myself of too:
You don't have to know what God is doing to know who God is.

He is still good when the plan changes. He is still faithful when you don't understand. He is still present when you can't see what comes next. He is still God when your faith feels strong. And He is still God when all you can manage to pray is, “I believe. Help my unbelief.”

We don't have to fake unwavering faith for God. He already knows where we're struggling. We can bring Him the questions. We can tell Him we're scared. We can admit that we're having a hard time letting go. And then we can choose to trust Him again.

Maybe tomorrow we'll have to choose it again. And the day after that, again.

So if you're in an unknown season too, you don't have to force yourself to have all the answers. You don't have to pretend you're completely unafraid. And you don't have to wait until your faith feels stronger to come to Jesus.

Bring Him what you have.

Even if today's prayer is simply: “I believe. Help my unbelief.”

Because maybe faith isn't having enough light to see the whole road.

Maybe it's trusting the One who does...and taking the next step with Him anyway.

Reflection

• Where in your life are you struggling with the unknown right now?
• Have you been asking God to give you the entire plan when He may simply be asking you to trust Him with the next step?
• Take a moment today to honestly tell Him where your faith is wavering. You don't have to clean it up or make it sound spiritual.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, You know the places in my life where I feel uncertain and the questions I wish You would answer. You know when my faith feels strong and when fear, doubt, and my need for control start creeping back in. Thank You that I don't have to hide any of that from You. I believe You are good. I believe You are faithful. I believe You are working even when I cannot see or understand what You are doing. And in the places where I struggle to believe those things, help my unbelief. Teach me to trust You without needing to know the entire plan. Give me enough courage for the next step and enough faith for today. When I start trying to take control again, gently remind me that You can see what I cannot. Whatever comes next, help me stay close to You through it. In Jesus' name, amen.